T.O., B.S., and More.

How could ESPN run this graphic without a subtitle like "Do you smell what Jeff Gordon is cookin'?"

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I'm not sure what happened with Terrell Owens, but I'm not buying this "allergic reaction" story. The guy's probably been taking painkillers for ages. He's a football player; he gets beat up every single week. Further, he's probably been taking whatever supplements he's been taking for a long time, too. Now, all of a sudden, he develops an allergic reaction to the two? I know that sometimes that can happen with penicillin and related drugs, but it seems unlikely. (Actually, my first thought was that he had a drug problem, which appears to have been ruled out.)

I'm also not entirely prepared to dismiss the report from the cops as easily as many others are. These guys were there, on the scene, saw everything that was going on, and said it was an attempted suicide. Everyone else is Monday Morning Quarterbacking (and not in the good, Peter King-like, way). That first-hand observance counts for a lot with me.

Do I think he tried to kill himself? I think it's more likely than it's being given credit for right now. The outward signs would seem to point against it; it's hard to believe that someone so phenomenally arrogant would do that, but we don't know what he's like on the inside. Does he compensate for a low feeling of self-worth with endless bragging, posturing and general behavior consistent with a jackass? It's certainly possible. More possible, I believe, than a suddenly ultra-fit football superstar suddenly developing a mysterious allergy to a combo painkillers and supplements that he's probably been taking for some time.

We're probably never going to find out what happened, though, so at this point, it's all academic.

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Jason Whitlock got fired by ESPN? Wow, what a f*&kin' tragedy, let's go buy some butts.

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Every time Bill Simmons cranks out a turd for a column, like this, or this, or pretty much anything that has the header "Note: this appears in an upcoming issue of ESPN The Magazine", and I get pissed, I have to remind myself of that fourth-wall breaching exchange from the Poochie episode of "The Simpsons"...

Comic Book Guy: Last night's episode of Itchy and Scratchy was the worst episode ever. I was on the internet within moments expressing my displeasure.
Bart: Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?
CBG: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe it to me.
Bart: Owe you? What could they possibly owe you? They've given you thousands of hours of free entertainment! If anything, YOU owe THEM!
CBG: Worst...episode...ever.

I try very hard to maintain a sense of perspective about this stuff. I think Bill Simmons is the most entertaining (if not the best) sportswriter I've ever had the privilege to read. I've burned many crappy workdays sifting through his Page 2 archives and spent hundreds of lunch hours devouring his Friday NFL column along with a sandwich. But there's little denying that his work's gone downhill. Maybe it's because he's been overexposed. Maybe it's because he's become a different person since getting married and having a kid. Maybe it's because the taste of failure from his stint on Jimmy Kimmel's show still lingers. Maybe he got a big new deal from ESPN, cashed out and stopped giving a shit. I don't know.

Don't get me wrong, he's still fun to read most of the time, and still at least marginally informative. It's not like he's become Rick Reilly or anything. But the belly-laughs are a lot fewer and farther between, and it seems like most everything is a rehash of something he's written before, with a slightly different cast of characters.

Anyway, I'm not sure how to feel about all this. Disappointed, sure, but what right do I have to bitch? I'm genuinely conflicted about this; I'm not trying to make some sort of grand point with a rhetorical question.